Getting Married? High Time To Up Your Communication Game Before MarriageSubscribe

So ready to take your relationship to the next level? Have you considered the changes and adjustments you need to make in your communication game before and after marriage? While marriage is a lot of responsibility, it can also be a lot of fun, if you can develop healthy ways to communicate with your spouse.

In an arranged marriage for instance, while designing checklists before marriage or going through a long list of questions to ask a groom, and questions to ask your spouse, you also need to examine your style and pattern of communication. Here’s our brief, but effective checklist.

1.  Identify poor communication patterns.

·      Do they avoid tough or sensitive conversations?

·       Do they yell?

·       Are they passive-aggressive?

Poor communication patterns can go unnoticed, especially when the marriage is arranged, and the courtship period is small. People can actually lose out on the chance to know their partner well before marriage. Hence, it is all the more important to keep an eye out for these signs.

2.  Humor.

·       Do they belittle you?

·       Do they crack jokes at your expense?

·       Do they make a lot of sexist, racist, or double-meaning jokes?

Sometimes it’s difficult to draw a line, especially in long relationships with common friends. However, it’s important to draw healthy boundaries when it comes to humour, both before and after marriage.

3.  Aggression.

·       Do they yell, scream, cry a lot, or have frequent nervous breakdowns when facing conflict?

·       Does their language get sarcastic, judgemental, or condescending?

·       Do they stomp their feet, go silent, glare, and make you feel physically threatened even without actual violence?

Aggressive behaviour can take many forms, and not all of it has to be violent. It may stem out of deeper psychological issues, or it may be manipulative. However, it can escalate quickly. Aggressive communication is a BIG NO!

4.  Knee-Jerk Reactions and Emotional Maturity.

·       Do they take time to process their thoughts before verbalizing them?

·       Do they react or respond when you ask them a difficult question?

·       Do they have a tendency for a fight or flee response, rather than asking for time if needed?

·       Do they defend themselves every time they are questioned?

·       Is their default communication pattern about shifting blame?

Knee jerk reactions indicate that the person isn’t capable of a sensible conversation in a mature manner. While communication is key, its effectiveness and efficiency are rooted in emotional maturity. So, you need to see if that’s present or missing.

5.  Overcommunication.

A common defence mechanism to address one’s insecurities. Instead of shutting the partner out, sometimes people can overshare, and over-communicate, and it can seem like an information overload. It’s a real thing and it can be draining. So, observe signs, and try to work with the deeper issues in order to fully resolve this.

When it comes to communication between partners both before and after marriage it’s imperative to keep in mind the ultimate objective. The ultimate objective is to ensure that your marriage is rooted in honesty, dependability, and respect for each other. Nothing but communication is the key to it!


Pre Wedding 



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